In which Sherlock does not know what day it is
by kathaka9
Summary: Slightly AU as Sherlock and Moriarty are sort of friends. Slight John!lock. Just playing around this is my very first fanfic please be kind :)


Sherlock led John and Moriarty to the mall. Sherlock started running because he saw someone stealing Jim the Fish. John didn't notice the fish getting stolen, so he asked Sherlock "What are you doing Sherlock? Why are you hurrying?"

Sherlock sighed. Sometimes John was so stupid and missed the clues in plain sight. "JOHN! someone is stealing Jim the Fish!" John wondered how on earth Sherlock knew that a fish was called Jim.

John decided to ignore Sherlock and walked into a bar in the mall. There was a fish in the bar which John stared at for a very long time. Suddenly an angry voice interrupted him. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? WHY ARE YOU STARING AT A FISH?" John groaned and said, "The fish smells bad Lestrade."

Lestrade didn't believe him, and began yelling "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? THE FISH DON'T SMELL BAD! THEY ARE GOOD!"

John opened his mouth to retaliate only to hear Sherlock say "Shut up, John!" John quickly shut his mouth, and Sherlock continued "Apologise immediately, you're setting a bad example for Moriarty."

John looked at Lestrade, then muttered "I'm sorry."

Lestrade accepted his apology and went back to looking around the bar. When he was gone Sherlock muttered to John, "You were right the fish do smell bad."

John smiled and asked, "Can you deduce why?"

Sherlock laughed and said in an emotionless tone. "They're dead!" Both of them cracked up laughing.

While they were talking, Moriarty decided it'd be fun to rob the TARDIS. So he snuck off and went in search of the blue box containing unknown treasures.

All of a sudden Sherlock's head shot up and he looked around the store. "John? Where's Moriarty?"

John only just realised that Moriarty had snuck off. Sherlock looked down and began following a trail which was invisible to John. John pulled out his phone and dialed Moriarty's number. There was no reply.

After a while Sherlock stopped in front of a blue box. He groaned and pulled out his phone and began texting. He sent one to Moriarty: **You're in the TARDIS. Also, if you're going to run off on your own make it a challenge to find you. That was tedious. -SH**

The next one he sent to Lestrade: **Do you know that the TARDIS is in the middle of the mall? if you don't you're seriously bad at your job. -SH **

Finally he texted the only number he had never once texted:

**Moriarty's in your TARDIS. You might want to hurry back. I'm going to go in and find him, John is with me. See you when you get back from whatever alien your stopping this time. -SH**

Sherlock sent the last text then said to John "Come on John, we have to go in if we want to get Moriarty back."

John looked appalled. "Sherlock..."

Sherlock was in the process of unlocking the door. "Yes John?"

John smiled and said "It's a phone box."

Sherlock laughed and muttered something John couldn't understand under his breath. Sherlock just pulled open the door (the sign does say pull not push). He stepped inside, then said to John "Are you coming or not?"

John was very confused, "I won't fit!"

Sherlock's hand popped out and he shouted, "Just come in."

Before John could protest Sherlock grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside the TARDIS. John looked around amazed and very very confused. "But... its... bigger on the inside!"

Sherlock laughed. "Apparently everyone says that. Except for one girl. Clara, I think her name was. She died. A lot."

John giggled at the last word. "So what did she say?"

"It's smaller on the outside!"

They both cracked up laughing. Sherlock began looking around. "In the past 50 years there have been many previous inhabitants of this TARDIS..."

John interrupted him "TARDIS?"

Sherlock playfully punched Johns' shoulder before John pulled him into kiss. They kissed passionately until Sherlock's phone went off. He broke off the kiss and pulled out his phone. It was a text from Mycroft. DELETE!

Sherlock looked around again and then remembered what John had asked earlier. "TARDIS stands for time and relative dimension in space. She is a time machine which can travel anywhere you need to go. Which basically means we have no idea when or where we will end up. The reason she looks like a police telephone box from the 1960's is because the chameleon circuit is broken. Despite the fact that it could be easily fixed he decides to leave it this way!"

"Who is he?"

As if on cue the doors opened and he walked in dramatically.

"Hi Sherlock it's nice to see you again. But I don't remember giving you permission to enter MY TARDIS!"

Sherlock laughed and said, "I did text you."

John was very confused. Who was this mysterious man in a fez and bowtie? The man looked around and spotted John: "Oh hi, you must John. I'm the Doctor." The Doctor shook his hand,

"Doctor who?"

Sherlock had a very amused expression on his face upon hearing this. The Doctor smiled and said, "Just the Doctor. What ARE you doing here?"

They both suddenly remembered their mission. John sighed loudly and said, "We lost Moriarty... again. He went in here. Apparently." He flashed Sherlock a death glare.

The Doctor went up to the console and began pushing various buttons. The TARDIS made a loud sound and a whole heap of security videos showed up which the Doctor scanned through. Sherlock began deducing... unfortunately for John.

"Hmm..it appears that Clara left. Before her there was a woman with big blonde hair. She was in jail for murder. She is married to the Doctor, she's dead now. Her name was River Song. When she and the Doctor got married, there was another married couple. The woman was a ginger. The Doctor's always wanted ginger hair. Don't know why. Anyway, back to ginger girl. She's known the Doctor since she was little when he fixed the crack in her wall. She's Scottish. She was a kissogram when she next met him. She was married to a blonde Roman who waited 2000 years for her. He was a nurse. Ginger girl forced him to dress up as raggedy man aka the Doctor alot when they were little..."

The doctor rudely interrupted him "Very interesting Sherlock. Now shut up."

Sherlock began moaning and asking John for his gun because he was bored. The Doctor whizzed around and shouted "I FOUND HIM! We better hurry."

John stopped him. "Where is he?"

The Doctor began running along with Sherlock. The Doctor shouted "THE BOMB ROOM!"

They ran down the hallway following the Doctor. Who knew how long they had until Moriarty 'accidently' set off a bomb. Eventually the Doctor stopped and burst through the door closely followed by John and Sherlock. Moriarty was midway through lighting a bomb.

The Doctor ran up to him and grabbed his wrist. Before he knew what was happening, Moriarty was being dragged out of his paradise. The Doctor dragged him back to the console. "Sit." Moriarty reluctantly sat. Sherlock had disappeared into the lab so it was up John to lecture Moriarty.

"What did you think you were doing running off like that? You nearly set off a bomb. Bad Moriarty. You could've gotten us all killed."

Moriarty interrupted shaking his head. "That was the plan!"

This earned him a slap on the face from John. "You actually tried to blow this place up?"

Moriarty nodded.

"How did you even know this place existed?"

Moriarty smiled cheekily "I overheard Sherlock talking to himself... again."

The Doctor and Sherlock chose that moment to walk back in. They were arguing. "Sherlock, I can't believe you blew up the lab... again. I only just got it fixed from the last time you were here!"

Sherlock groaned and muttered something under his breath. The Doctor continued to rant, "Also Moriarty just had to go into the bomb room!"

"Why do you even have a bomb room?"

The Doctor made a sound that was almost a growl, and said very angrily to Sherlock, "Why do you always have to blow stuff up?"

"It was an experiment!" Sherlock yelled defensively.

The Doctor looked very confused. "Sherlock, the last time you were here you blew the lab up 20 times with your experiments!"

Sherlock shrugged and a look of guilt flashed across his face. The Doctor noticed, but continued "I had to ban you from the lab because of your stupid experiments."

Moriarty started laughing "Lol. John, we might need to ban Sherlock from the kitchen!"

Sherlock flashed him a death glare before looking back at the Doctor and nodding to him. "My experiments are not stupid. Also about 5 of them blew up because you decided to meddle!"

The Doctor looked shocked at this accusation. Sherlock smiled and continued, "By the way I'd stay out of the swimming pool for a while. There might a bomb in it... just a little one."

Realisation crossed the Doctors face. "How many rooms have you already blown up?"

Sherlock put his hands into his thinking pose. He stayed like that for 10 minutes before finally answering:

"I blew up the kitchen, the telescope room, the lab, my room, your room, the farm, other rooms."

The doctor turned bright red. "HOW!? WHAT!? UGH! I SHOULD KICK YOU OUT!" Just then the TARDIS began rapidly shaking and swaying to and fro. John screamed from some unknown place "What's going on?"

The Doctor, Sherlock and Moriarty answered simultaneously, "I DON'T KNOW!"

The TARDIS finally stopped shaking and rattling. The Doctor pulled open the doors revealing a strange planet. John went outside and looked around. "Doctor, where are we?" The Doctor went up to the TARDIS console and pushed seemly pointless buttons. After a while a word came up. The doctor went outside and joined John. "Do you want the good news or the bad news?"

"Good first I suppose."

The Doctor nodded. "We are on Gallifrey..." John had no idea where that was and what on earth the Doctor was talking about. "What's the bad news then?"

Sherlock stepped out of the TARDIS holding his phone, texting someone.

Back on Earth Mrs Hudson, Molly and Lestrade were sitting in 221B Baker street wondering where Sherlock, John and Moriarty had gone. Without warning Mrs Hudson's phone went off.

**No need to worry. Might be late for tea. -SH.**

"Who's it from?" asked Molly.

Mrs Hudson laughed and said "Sherlock. He says he might be late for tea!"

Molly and Lestrade laughed.

"Doesn't he know its 8 in the morning?"

Mrs Hudson shrugged and said "I'll ask."

**You do know its 8 in the morning? -Mrs H**

**Oh is it? -SH**

**Have you deleted the time... again? -Mrs H**

**No. Its hard to explain. -SH**

"So?"

"He doesn't know. I don't understand what's going on with him."

Molly sighed "He's Sherlock remember? Sometimes he disappears for months."

Mrs Hudson nodded. "I suppose."

Molly's phone went off.

"He's texting me now!"

**With John and Moriarty. Might be back late. -SH**

_Sherlock, Where on Earth are you? -M_

**Nowhere! -SH**

_What does that even mean?-M_

**I'M NOT EXPLAINING! -SH**

_Please Sherlock. At least tell me if your safe. -M_

**Define safe -SH**

_Not in danger? -M_

**Maybe... If you don't count me blowing up a lab, Moriarty nearly blowing all of us to smithereens, Losing control... Oh and me possibly causing the universe to be destroyed...-SH**

_WHAT!? -M_

**It's nothing. You should live. I did say possibly. Depends if we can get it under control -SH**

Lestrade was getting impatient, "Ask him where he is!"

"I have no idea. I think he might be on drugs." Lestrade sighed. His phone went off indicating a text from Sherlock.

**I'm not on drugs! -SH**

**How did you even know we were thinking that? -GL**

**Doesn't matter -SH**

**It really does. -GL**

**DULL! -SH**

**How long have we been gone? -SH**

**A month? -GL**

**Really? -SH**

**Yes! -GL**

**For us it's only been a day. -SH**

**What? Have you been deleting stuff again. Like my name? The date? the solar system? -GL**

**Lestrade I have not deleted your name. The solar system doesn't matter! -SH**

**P.S What is the date? -SH**

**OH. . REALLY SHERLOCK? -GL**

All 3 of their phones went silent. There weren't anymore texts.

Back on Gallifrey...

The Doctor went up to Sherlock and stole his phone. "Hey! I was using that!"

"Don't you care that you might have destroyed the universe?"

Sherlock shrugged.

"I am never letting you near the controls again," the Doctor said.

Sherlock had decided to hack the TARDIS. Not even the Doctor had known why or how he did it. Unfortunately during the process Sherlock had broken the time lock on the time war. Pretty soon the Daleks and Time Lords would be back and that is very very bad.

The Doctor looked at Sherlock and said, "All the places in the universe and you choose Gallifrey?"

He smiled and nodded. "It seemed like the coolest judging by that book you won't let anyone read."

The doctor looked very shocked "YOU READ IT!?"

"Yes..." Sherlock started to say a name but the doctor cut him off. "Don't."

Sherlock just nodded and walked off.

John and the Doctor were left alone. "What was that?" The Doctor just shook his head "He wasn't supposed to read it."

"Look, I'm not him,so can you tell ME what you're talking about?"

"He read the history of the time war. I don't understand how through, given the whole thing is in gallifreyan." John nodded, still confused. He pulled out his phone and sent a text to Moriarty and Sherlock.

**Don't get into too much trouble -JW**

**Don't worry John. -SH**

**I worry about you -JW**

**John can I borrow your phone? -SH**

**What's wrong with yours? -JW**

**I lost it! -SH**

**Then why are you using it? -JM**

**John I need your phone. Oh and can you get me the sonic while you're at it.-SH**

**Why? -JW**

**Need it for an experiment -SH**

**Oh god -JW**

**Sherlock no more experiments -The D**

**Can I use your sonic? -SH**

**I don't even know where you are. -The D**

**I'm at your house! -SH**

**How do you know where i live? -The D**

**Doesn't matter. Now can I use the sonic or not? -SH**

**Why do you need it? -The D**

**To fix the time lock. -SH**

**WHAT? YOU MEAN YOU CAN FIX IT AFTER ALL? -JW**

**Don't fix it yet. I'm dying to meet the Master -JM**

**How do you know who that is? -The D**

**Doesn't matter -JM**

**So Doctor? Sonic? -SH**

**Maybe -The D**

**John. I need your phone. Oh and get some milk while you're at it. -SH**

**I don't know where to buy milk here! -JW**

**Oh well, phone then? -SH**

**Fine,you can use my phone - just don't explode the universe -JW**

**I'll try my best. -SH**

The Doctor led John to Sherlock's location. Throughout the whole journey the Doctor was fidgeting uneasily. When they finally got to the door the Doctor knocked lightly. A voice shouted at them, "Come in!" They walked inside holding the items Sherlock had requested.

Sherlock beamed at them. He grabbed the sonic and phone and put them down on the table. He picked up the sonic and soniced John's phone. "You might want to get ready to run to the TARDIS once this is hooked up we'll only have 5 minutes to get to the TARDIS.

**Go back to the TARDIS NOW!-JW**

**Why? -JM**

**Do you want to be trapped here? -JW**

**Not really. -JM**

**Then go to the TARDIS -JW**

**Can I bring the Master? -JM**

**NO! -The D**

**Fine then. I'll go. See you there -JM**

Sherlock clicked a button on John's phone which caused it to explode. "That's why I didn't use mine! Come on we need to run!" The group of 3 ran as fast as they could towards the TARDIS. They got there in just under 4 minutes. Moriarty was waiting for them.

"Quick, start the TARDIS!" The Doctor pulled some buttons which caused the TARDIS to rattle about wildly, making a very strange sound. After a while the TARDIS stopped rattling.

"When and where are we?" Sherlock asked.

The Doctor pushed some buttons, "Outside 221B Baker Street, November 23rd, 2013."

"How long have we been gone?"

The Doctor did some math in his head before saying, "15 months."

Sherlock grabbed his phone and began texting.

**Back now. Can you make us something? -SH**

**I'm not your housekeeper. -Mrs H**

Sherlock laughed at that reply and walked out of the TARDIS and into 221B Baker Street. John and Moriarty followed closely behind. When they walked in Mrs Hudson was making tea.

"I thought you weren't our housekeeper?"

She laughed and said "I'm not!"

They all shared a good laugh. Sherlock's phone went off and he pulled it out.

**Until the next time. -The D**


End file.
